The 3 Types Of Bullying Every Parent Needs To Know About

Any Why Understanding Them Could Change Everything For Your Child

You're scrolling through your phone late at night, and something your child said at dinner keeps nagging at you. "Nobody wanted to sit with me at lunch." Or maybe it was nothing they said, but rather they're quieter than they normally are. Maybe they're reluctant to go to school, or they're losing interest in things they used to love.

Is it bullying? You're not sure, and that uncertainty is where many parents get stuck.

Before you can help your child stand up for themselves, you need to know what you're dealing with. Bullying isn't a one-size-fits-all problem. It shows up in 3 distinct forms.

Hard To Believe, But I Was Bullied

Before we cover the different types of bullying, let it be known that I was the victim of all three.

My older brother demonstrated sibling rivalry my whole life, then when I got to school, the kids he'd bullied 4 years prior got payback by taking it out on me.

It never stopped until I got into martial arts and learned how to stand up for myself, which took a particular martial art and some particular training, which I'll talk about later.

Hard to believe I know. How does a victim of bullying go on to be a bouncer, a French Foreign Legion commando, and a bodyguard to some of the world's richest people?

Before I go over that, let's cover the different types of bullying.

this is a picture of a young girl at Warriors Krav Maga in Cornelus NC practicing knee strikes

Type 1: Physical Bullying

This is the type of bullying most people think of when they hear the term "bullying." Hitting, shoving, kicking, grabbing, or damaging your kid's belongings. It's the most visible form, and, in many ways the easiest to identify and address.

What does it look like:

Unexplained bruises, scratches, or torn clothing
Coming home minus possessions they left with
Flinching or going tense in certain environments (hallways, the bus, the playground)
Refusing to go to school or making excuses to stay home

Physical bullying is almost always rooted in a power imbalance. The bully has identified your child as someone who can't, or won't, fight back. That perceived vulnerability is the target.

One reason is how your kid carries himself. The Greyson/Stein study went over this at length. They filmed hundreds of people walking and then showed the film to human predators. The people who were in prison for mugging, rape, and murder. They almost all picked the same people, and it was based only on how they walked.

A picture of physical bullying by a group

This is why many kids who are bullied have one or more parents who were also bullied. They modeled their parents' mannerisms and subsequently became targets.

It's Why Packing Your Kid Off To The Local Martial Arts School Isn't Always The Answer

Yep, most parents miss this, but the solution isn't just teaching your child how to fight. (Not that the average kid's martial arts classes do a good job teaching that anyway).

It's the body language that matters.

Think of an acting class. You want a kid to portray the kind of kid who has no confidence. How are his feet? Together. Are his shoulders back or rounded? Is he looking up, or down? Does he speak confidently, or does he mumble or stay mute? Does he make eye contact or look down? Does he walk like he owns the hallway at school or skulk along next to the lockers hoping nobody recognizes him?

This is why the military is so incredible. They take kids like that, and what do they do from day one? Feet shoulder-width apart, hands behind the back, chest up, shoulders back, head up, eye contact, and replying to every command by shouting "Sir, yes, sir."

That shift, which is an amazing thing to witness, is what we teach at Krav Maga LKN. Not aggression but presence.

Type 2: Verbal Bullying

A young boy cowers on the ground, a book over his head, while a bully stands over him in a threatening stance

Name-calling, taunting, threats, and constant criticism. Mocking the way your child looks, talks, dresses, or acts. Verbal bullying is relentless and made worse by social media because kids can't escape it just by leaving school.

This non-stop 24-hour onslaught is relentless and invisible to teachers and parents who aren't in earshot.

The sad thing is, this type of bullying can do far more long-term damage to a child's self-image than most parents realize.

What it looks like:

Coming home upset but unable (or unwilling) to explain why.
Sudden changes in how they talk about themselves ("I'm stupid," "I'm ugly," "Nobody likes me."
Becoming withdrawn around other kids
Overreacting emotionally to small things, because they're already worn down inside.

The insidious thing about verbal bullying is that it works. A bully who calls your child "weird," "fat," or "loser" every single day for months hasn't just been a pest; they've been planting seeds that kids start to believe. It's almost like brainwashing, and that's the problem.

Building a child up against verbal bullying is partly about giving them confident responses (calm and measured, not reactive), but it's mostly about building an internal identity strong enough that the words don't stick. When a child has a skill, when they train, when they earn rank instead of being given a participation trophy, they know they're capable. That capability and confidence gives the outside voice a lot less real estate to work with.

Type 3: Social Bullying

A young girl sits alone at school, while a group of girls in the background point and whisper about her

This is the most underestimated of the three types, and, in many ways, it's the most devastating, especially for girls, though boys experience it too.

Social bullying is about exclusion, manipulation, and reputation damage. It's designed to isolate your child and destroy their sense of belonging.

What it looks like:

Being deliberately left out of groups, parties or lunch tables.
Spreading rumors about your child
Public humiliation, especially in front of peers whose approval matters
Turning other kids against them one by one
Online, being excluded from group chats, having screenshots shared, and having accounts mocked. (This is the one that never shuts off as physical bullying does.)

This type of bullying often flies under the radar of parents because there's never any physical evidence. Teachers don't see it. Parants don't hear about it, and, if they do, it's after the damage is done. And, the worst part, the child often blames themselves, convinced they did something to deserve it.

Social bullying is also where the cyberbully lives. The same exclusion, rumor spreading, and humiliation tactics that happen in a school hallway now follow your child home, onto their phone, into their bedroom, on their computer. There's no escape.

What All Three Have In Common

Here's the thread that connects all three: they all target kids who appear isolated, vulnerable or unable to defend themselves, physically, verbally or socially.

A child who's been trained, in the most complete sense of that word, carries themselves differently. They're less reactive, more grounded, and harder to rattle. They have a community of peers who share their values. They've been through challenges and come out the other side. They know they're capable.

That's not an accident. That's what proper martial arts training develops.

What Can You Do Right Now?

Talk to your child, without interrogating them. Ask open questions. "How's lunch been going?" is less threatening than "Are you being bullied?" Give them space ot bring it to you.

Take the quiet signals seriously. Changes in mood, sleep, appetite, and enthusiasm are worth paying attention to.

Don't minimize it. "Just ignore them" and "they're not worth it" are well-meaning but as much use as a chocolate teapot. Your child needs tools, not dismissals.

Build them up proactively, don't wait for a crisis. The best time to build confidence, resilience, and social skills is before your child needs it. Like most things, it takes time, so start now.

A Final Word

If you're reading this because something doesn't feel right with your child, trust your instinct. Parents often know. The question is, what do you do about it?

At Warriors Krav Maga LKN, our program is built around more than fighting techniques. We teach kids how to carry themselves, how to respond under pressure, and how to beleive in their own ability to handle whatever life throws at them.

If you'd like to learn more, reach out to us. We're based right here in Lake Norman and saving kids from being bullied is one of our favorite things to do.